I’m part of a moms group, similar to MOPS. Initially I was opposed to joining a mom group, because as much as I love being a stay-at-home mom, I didn’t want that to be my entire identity. And for some reason in my head, I had this idea that if I joined a “moms group” that it would solidify the fact that I wear yoga pants and a pony tail 5 days a week, and drink coffee throughout the day until it’s time to switch to wine. For some reason, I felt like joining this moms group would put that final nail in the coffin, that “mom” was my only title. However, after moving to a new city, and finding that it is really difficult to make friends, specifically mom friends, I gave in. And honestly, I’m so happy I did. I get to have adult conversations, while sipping entirely too much coffee, and my kids get to play for two hours with other kids, without me. It’s dreamy.
At our most recent meeting we listened to a video from Rachel Hollis, whom I had never heard of prior to the meeting. I loved it. It was my jam and I ate up everything she was saying with a spoon. I’m a “personal development” junkie. I love reading reading pop psychology and listening to pod casts like this, and I had never heard of her. In the video we watched she discussed goals, and how in order to thrive we must be constantly working towards our goals and that the only person standing in the way of reaching a goal, is yourself. Loving it. This also touched on a presentation that I recently gave to the group about Mental Health and personal development, but that’s another story.
So, we’re sitting around after the video having small group discussion. And the question gets posed, “what is a goal you have and what is a reason that is holding you back from achieving it” and I look around the table and everyone is kind of stumped. Now me, in my head, I have 15 goals running at one time, without a clear plan to get to them, which is probably one of the reasons I haven’t reached some. But when the question was asked, multiple people around the table said they didn’t really have any goals. That they were just trying to get through the day most days. That “in this season of life, maybe we just don’t get to have personal goals, and getting through the days is what counts.”
Now, I have a couple of thoughts on this. First, sharing personal goals can be intimate and personal, so perhaps some people didn’t want to share them in an open setting. Cool, I can dig that. Second, I recognize that when you have a toddler, or toddlers, or kids in general that sometimes getting through the day, is actually an amazing personal triumph. That making it to bedtime is absolutely something that should be celebrated. Pop a bottle! Make it rain! However, what are we working towards? How are we growing? To me, the importance of goals not only helps us look at the bigger picture, but also just helps us get through the day, and do it with excitement and passion.
Example, like most women, or heck most people I feel like I am constantly working to be healthier. I have the goal weight in my head, and since starting my happiness project and the Advocare one80 challenge, I have been trying hard to develop healthier habits. This goal not only influences me, and pushes me, but I also see the example i’m hopefully setting for my children. By trying to do things throughout the day with intention toward reaching my goals, it helps create a different environment in my house. My kids see me exercising. I am excited about each day. I’m working towards a goal, and I hope by modeling that, they can pick up on healthy habits, and not just eat pizza bagels all day. Ok that last bit was a stretch, but hey you gotta have goals right!
So what this all boils down to is, what are you working toward? What is your goal? Because getting through the day is great, but what about the bigger picture? It’s ok to think about yourself and what you want to be. Being a mom doesn’t have to end your personal development; it’s part of your personal development.