Since starting this blog I often question myself as to why I’m writing. What is the purpose of sitting in front of this computer, and sending my thoughts into cyberspace? Am I adding any value to anyone’s life? Why do I continue to write, even though I have one follower. Which really doesn’t count, because it’s my sister and she set up my page.
I believe it comes down to is accountability. I set up this blog (my sister did) right after finishing reading The Happiness Project. The book spoke to me on so many levels, that it motivated me to implement the project and to share it with others. By creating the blog, I wanted to find a way to relate to and reach other people to help them on their happiness journey as well. We got the blog all set up, and then I didn’t do anything on it for a month. In the same time frame, I also didnt stick to my project goals. In many ways, I was disappointed with myself for falling off the wagon, not sticking to all my goals, and not writing about it. I was disappointed that yet again, I have let myself down. In all the books I read and podcasts I listen to, there is often a common theme. We are responsible for our own actions. We control whether we make the choice each day to take actions to reach our goals. Our self-discipline is what decides whether or not we reach our goals.
I read recently that if we had a friend who let us down, as much as we let ourselves down, would we want to continue being friends with that person? Probably not. I let myself down, much more than anyone lets me down. And this book was right, I wouldn’t let other people down, and disappoint them as much as I do it to myself. Today while listening to the Tony Robbins Podcast, Gretchen Rubin was on, and they were discussing her book, The Four Tendencies. Basically, personalities can be narrowed down to four different types, and as I’m listening I heard myself described perfectly. I am a Obliger, meaning that other people’s expectations and outer accountability is what motivates me to reach my inner expectations. In order to reach my goals, I must have some sort of outer accountability. The paradox is not lost on me, that in order to have self-discipline I must have external accountability.
This completely aligns with everything I have been feeling and thinking. Why am I so easy to let myself down, to negotiate with myself that life is short and eating that pizza is fine; Or that I can just go running later, and that doing the dishes is what needs to happen? Because I need accountability; not just from myself because that isn’t enough, but from those around me. Hearing this in the podcast was enlightening, as it made me feel less insecure about this, because apparently this is the most popular personality type. But it also gave me a sense of satisfaction and understanding. I understand now, why I write this blog that no one reads. Because it gives me a sense of accountability. That someday, someone is going to expect me to be writing and following through. It makes me realize I need to set up ways to be held accountable to others, to reach my happiness goals. And it makes me realize I need to buy The Four Tendencies (which you can do HERE)
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